TRAVELING SOON?....BEWARE...
What to Do With Hotel Soap
The following letters were taken from an actual
incident between a London hotel and one of it's guests.
The Hotel submitted the letters to the London Sunday
Times for their humor column.
Dear Maid,
Please do not leave any more of those little bars of
soap in my bathroom since I have brought my own
bath-sized Dial. Please remove the six unopened little
bars from the shelf under the medicine chest and another
three in the shower soap dish. They are in my way.
Thank you,
S. Berman
Dear Room 635,
I am not your regular maid. She will be back
tomorrow, Thursday, from her day off. I took the 3 hotel
soaps out of the shower soap dish as you requested.. The
6 bars on your shelf I took out of your way and put on
top of your Kleenex dispenser in case you should change
your mind. This leaves only the 3 bars I left today
which my instructions from the management is to leave 3
soaps daily. I hope this is satisfactory.
Kathy, Relief Maid
Dear Maid - I hope you are my regular maid.
Apparently Kathy did not tell you about my note to
her concerning the little bars of soap. When I got back
to my room this evening I found you had added 3 little
Camays to the shelf under my medicine cabinet. I am
going to be here in the hotel for two weeks and have
brought my own bath-size Dial so I won't need those 6
little Camays which are on the shelf. They are in my way
when shaving, brushing teeth, etc. Please remove them.
S. Berman
Dear Mr. Berman,
My day off was last Wed. so the relief maid left 3
hotel soaps which we are instructed by the management. I
took the 6 soaps which were in your way on the shelf and
put them in the soap dish where your Dial was. I put the
Dial in the medicine cabinet for your convenience. I
didn't remove the 3 complimentary soaps which are always
placed inside the medicine cabinet for all new check-ins
and which you did not object to when you checked in last
Monday. Please let me know if I can of further
assistance.
Your regular maid,
Dotty
Dear Mr. Berman,
The assistant manager, Mr. Kensedder, informed me
this morning that you called him last evening and said
you were unhappy with your maid service. I have assigned
a new girl to your room. I hope you will accept my
apologies for any past inconvenience. If you have any
future complaints please contact me so I can give it my
personal attention. Call extension 1108 between 8AM and
5PM.Thank you.
Elaine Carmen
Housekeeper
Dear Miss Carmen,
It is impossible to contact you by phone since I
leave the hotel for business at 7:45 AM and don't get
back before 5:30 or 6PM. That's the reason I called Mr.
Kensedder last night. You were already off duty. I only
asked Mr. Kensedder if he could do anything about those
little bars of soap. The new maid you assigned me must
have thought I was a new check-in today, since she left
another 3 bars of hotel soap in my medicine cabinet
along with her regular delivery of 3 bars on the
bath-room shelf. In just 5 days here I have accumulated
24 little bars of soap. Why are you doing this to me?
S. Berman
Dear Mr. Berman,
Your maid, Kathy, has been instructed to stop
delivering soap to your room and remove the extra soaps.
If I can be of further assistance, please call extension
1108 between 8AM and 5PM.Thank you,
Elaine Carmen,
Housekeeper
Dear Mr. Kensedder,
My bath-size Dial is missing. Every bar of soap was
taken from my room including my own bath-size Dial. I
came in late last night and had to call the bellhop to
bring me 4 little Cashmere Bouquets.
S. Berman
Dear Mr. Berman,
I have informed our housekeeper, Elaine Carmen, of
your soap problem. I cannot understand why there was no
soap in your room since our maids are instructed to
leave 3 bars of soap each time they service a room. The
situation will be rectified immediately. Please accept
my apologies for the inconvenience.
Martin L. Kensedder
Assistant Manager
Dear Mrs. Carmen,
Who left 54 little bars of Camay in my room? I came
in last night and found 54 little bars of soap. I don't
want 54 little bars of Camay. I want my one bar of
bath-size Dial. Do you realize I have 54 bars of soap in
here. All I want is my bath size Dial. Please give me
back my bath-size Dial.
S. Berman
Dear Mr. Berman,
You complained of too much soap in your room so I had
them removed. Then you complained to Mr. Kensedder that
all your soap was missing so I personally returned them.
The 24 Camays which had been taken and the 3 Camays you
are supposed to receive daily. I don't know anything
about the 4 Cashmere Bouquets. Obviously your maid,
Kathy, did not know I had returned your soaps so she
also brought 24 Camays plus the 3 daily Camays. I don't
know where you got the idea this hotel issues bath-size
Dial. I was able to locate some bath-size Ivory which I
left in your room.
Elaine Carmen
Housekeeper
Dear Mrs. Carmen,
Just a short note to bring you up-to-date on my
latest soap inventory. As of today I possess:
On the
shelf under medicine cabinet - 18 Camay in 4 stacks of 4
and 1 stack of 2. On the Kleenex dispenser - 11 Camay in
2 stacks of 4 and 1 stack of 3. On the bedroom dresser -
1 stack of 3 Cashmere Bouquet, 1 stack of 4 hotel-size
Ivory, and 8 Camay in 2 stacks of 4. Inside the medicine
cabinet - 14 Camay in 3 stacks of 4 and 1 stack of 2. In
the shower soap dish - 6 Camay, very moist. On the
northwest corner of tub - 6 Camays in 2 stacks of 3.
Please ask Kathy when she services my room to make
sure the stacks are neatly piled and dusted. Also,
please advise her that stacks of more than 4 have a
tendency to tip. May I suggest that my bedroom window
sill is not in use and will make an excellent spot for
future soap deliveries. One more item, I have purchased
another bar of bath-sized Dial which I am keeping in the
hotel vault in order to avoid further misunderstandings.
S. Berman
