Welfare Application Goofs
SENTENCES TAKEN FROM ACTUAL LETTERS RECEIVED BY THE
TORONTO WELFARE DEPARTMENT FROM APPLICATIONS FOR AID AND
ASSISTANCE.
I am forwarding my marriage certificate and six
children. I have seven but one died and was baptized on
half sheet of paper.
I am writing to the Welfare Department to say that my
baby was born two years old. When do I get my money?
Mrs. Jones has not had any clothes for a year and has
been visited regularly by the clergy.
I cannot get sick pay. I have six children, can you
tell me why?
I am glad to report that my husband who was reported
missing is dead.
This is my eighth child, what are you going to do
about it?
Please find for certain if my husband is dead, the
man I am living with can't eat or do anything until he
finds out.
I am very annoyed that you have branded my son
illiterate, as this is a lie. I was married to his
father a week before he was born.
In answer to your letter I have given birth to a boy
weighing ten lbs. I hope this is satisfactory.
I am forwarding my marriage certificate and my three
children, one of which was a mistake as you can see.
My husband had his project cut off two weeks ago, and
I haven't had any relief since.
Unless I get my money soon, I will be forced to lead
an immortal life.
You have changed my little boy to a little girl. Will
this make any difference?
I haven't had children as yet as my husband is a bus
driver and works day and night.
In accordance with your instructions, I have given
birth to twins in the enclosed envelope.
I want money as quick as I can get it. I have been in
bed with the doctor for two weeks and this doesn't seem
to do me any good. If things don't improve I will be
forced to send for another doctor.
It is true I am a bachelor and have deducted for two
children. But please believe me when I say it was an
accident.
Please excuse the condition of my messy form. I
really should have been more careful.
I am a vermin destroyer but have not earned anything
for some months. I shall be glad to call on you at your
convenience.
Please send me a claim form as I have had a baby. I
had one before but it got dirty and I burned it.
I cannot pay the full amount at the moment as my
husband is in hospital. As soon as I can I will send on
the remains.
Please correct this assessment. I have not worked for
the past three months as I have broken my leg. Hoping
you will do the same....
