GRANDMA SPEAKS
A lawyer called his first witness to the stand in a
trial - a grandmotherly, elderly woman. He approached
her and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know me?" She
responded, "Why, yes, I do know you Mr. Williams. I've
known you since you were a young boy. And frankly,
you've been a big disappointment to me. You lie, you
cheat on your wife, you manipulate people and talk about
them behind their backs. You think you're a rising big
shot when you haven't the brains to realize you never
will amount to anything more than a two-bit paper
pusher. Yes, I know you."
The lawyer was stunned. Not knowing what else to do
he pointed across the room and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do
you know the lawyer for the defence?"
She replied, "Why, yes I do. I've known Mr. Bradley
since he was a youngster, too. I used to baby-sit him
for his parents. And he, too, has been a real
disappointment to me. He's lazy, bigoted, he has a
drinking problem. The man can't build a normal
relationship with anyone and his law practice is one of
the shoddiest in the entire city. Yes, I know him."
At this point, the judge rapped the courtroom to
silence and called both lawyers to the bench. In a very
quiet voice, he said with menace, "If either of you asks
her if she knows me, you'll be jailed for contempt!"
