PC Cars
Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry
with the auto industry and stated: "If GM had kept up
with technology like the computer industry has, we would
all be driving twenty-five dollar cars that got 1000
miles to the gallon".
In response to Bill's comments, GM issues a press
release stating: If GM had developed technology like
Microsoft, we would all be driving cars with the
following characteristics:
1. For no reason whatsoever your car would crash
twice a day.
2. Every time they repainted the lines on the road
you would have to buy a new car.
3. Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for
no reason, and you would just accept this, restart and
drive on.
4. Occasionally, executing a maneuver such as a left
turn, would cause your car to shut down and refuse to
restart, in which case you would have to reinstall the
engine.
5. Only one person at a time could use the car,
unless you bought "Car95" or "CarNT". But then you would
have to buy more seats.
6. Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the
sun, reliable, five time as fast, and twice as easy to
drive, but would only run on five per cent on the roads.
7. The oil, water temperature and alternator warning
lights would be replaced by a single "general car
default" warning light.
8. The airbag system would say "Are you sure?" before
going off.
9. Occasionally for no reason whatsoever, your car
would lock you out and refuse to let you in until you
simultaneously lifted the door handle, turned the key,
and grab hold of the radio antenna.
10. GM would require all car buyers to also purchase
a deluxe set of Rand-McNally road maps (now subsidiary
of GM), even though they neither need them nor want
them. Attempting to delete this option would immediately
cause the car's performance to diminish by 50% or more.
Moreover, GM would become a target for investigation by
the Justice Department.
11. Every time GM introduced a new model, car buyers
would have to learn how to drive all over again because
none of the controls would operate in the same manner as
the old car.
12. You would press the "start" button to shut off
the engine.
