CATHOLIC HORSES
One day while he was at the track playing the ponies
and all but losing his shirt, Mitch noticed a priest who
stepped out onto the track and blessed the forehead of
one of the horses lining up for the 4th race. Lo and
behold, that horse - a very long shot - won the race.
Before the next race, as the horses began lining up,
Mitch watched with interest the old priest step onto the
track. Sure enough, as the 5th race horses came to the
starting gate the priest made a blessing on the forehead
of one of the horses.
Mitch made a beeline for a betting window and placed
a small bet on the horse. Again, even though it was
another long shot, the horse the priest had blessed won
the race.
Mitch collected his winnings, and anxiously waited to
see which horse the priest would bless for the 6th race.
The priest again blessed a horse.
Mitch bet big on it, and it won. Mitch was elated. As
the races continued the priest kept blessing long shot
horses, and each one ended up coming in first.
Bye and bye, Mitch was pulling in some serious money.
By the last race, he knew his wildest dreams were going
to come true. He made a quick dash to the ATM, withdrew
all his savings, and awaited the priest's blessing that
would tell him which horse to bet on.
True to his pattern, the priest stepped onto the
track for the last race and blessed the forehead of an
old nag that was the longest shot of the day. Mitch also
observed the priest blessing the eyes, ears, and hooves
of the old nag.
Mitch knew he had a winner and bet every cent he
owned on the old nag. He then watched dumbfounded as the
old nag come in dead last. Mitch, in a state of shock,
made his way down to the track area where the priest
was.
Confronting the old priest he demanded, 'Father! What
happened? All day long you blessed horses and they all
won. Then in the last race, the horse you blessed lost
by a Kentucky mile. Now, thanks to you I've lost every
cent of my savings - all of it!'.
The priest nodded wisely and with sympathy. 'Son,' he
said, 'that's the problem with you Protestants, you
can't tell the difference between a simple blessing and
last rites.'
