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You Know You're Getting Older
When:
Everything
hurts and what doesn't hurt, doesn't work. The gleam in
your eyes is from the sun hitting your bifocals.
You feel
like the night after, and you haven't been anywhere.
You get
winded playing chess. Your children begin to look middle
aged. A dripping faucet causes an uncontrollable bladder
urge.
You know all
the answers, but nobody asks you the questions.
You look
forward to a dull evening.
You
walk with your head high trying to get used to your
bifocals.
Your
favorite part of the newspaper is "25 Years Ago
Today..."
You turn out
the light for economic reasons rather than romantic
ones.
You sit in a
rocking chair and can't get it going.
Your knees
buckle and your belt won't.
After
painting the town red, you have to take a long rest
before applying a second coat.
Dialing long
distance wears you out.
You're
startled the first time you are addressed as an old
timer.
You just
can't stand people who are intolerant.
The best
part of your day is over when your alarm clock goes off.
You burn the
midnight oil until 9 pm. Your back goes out more often
than you do.
A fortune
teller offers to read your face.
The little
grey haired lady you help across the street is your
wife.
You sink
your teeth into a steak and they stay there.
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