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Noah's Ark
The Lord said to Noah, "In six months, I'm going to
make it rain until the earth is covered with water and
all the evil is destroyed. I want you to build an ark
and save two of each animal species. Here are the
blueprints for the ark." Six months passed. The skies
began to cloud and rain began to fall. Noah sat in his
front yard, weeping. "Why haven't you built the ark?"
asked the Lord. "Oh, forgive me," said Noah. "I did my
best, but so many things happened. "The blueprints you
gave me didn't meet the city's code and I had to change
them. Then the city said I was violating the zoning
ordinance by building an ark in my front yard, so I had
to get a variance.. "The Forest Service required
tree-cutting permits, and I was sued by a state animal
rights group when I tried to gather up the animals. "The
EPA required an environmental impact statement
concerning the flood. the Army Corps of Engineers wanted
a map of the proposed flood plain. "The IRS seized all
my assets, claiming I was trying to avoid paying taxes
by leaving the country, and the Equal Opportunity
Commission said I wasn't hiring enough Croatians. "I'm
sorry, Lord, but I can't finish the ark for at least
five years." Suddenly the rain stopped, the skies
cleared and the sun began to shine. Noah looked up and
said, "Lord, does this mean you're not going to
devastate the earth?" "Right," said the Lord. "The
government already has."
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