I was shocked, confused, bewildered
as I entered Heaven's door,
Not by the beauty of it all,
 Nor the lights or its decor.

But it was the folks in Heaven
 who made me sputter and gasp--
 the thieves, the liars, the sinners,
the alcoholics, the trash

There stood the kid from seventh grade
 Who swiped my lunch money twice.
Next to him was my old neighbor
Who never said anything nice.

Herb, who I always thought
was rotting away in hell,
was sitting pretty on cloud nine,
Looking incredibly well.

      I nudged Jesus, "What's the deal?
      I would love to hear Your take.
      How'd all these sinners get up here?
      God must've made a mistake.

      "And why's everyone so quiet,
      so somber? Give me a clue."
      "Hush, child," said He, "they're all in shock.
      No one thought they'd be seeing you."

Judge NOT.