-
Argument (ar*gyou*ment) n. -- A discussion
that occurs when you're right, but he just hasn't realized
it yet.
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Airhead (er*hed) n. -- What a woman
intentionally becomes when pulled over by a policeman.
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Bar-be-que (bar*bi*q) n. -- You bought the
groceries, washed the lettuce, chopped the tomatoes, diced
the onions, marinated the meat, and cleaned everything up,
but he "made the dinner".
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Cantaloupe (kant*e*lope) n. -- Gotta get
married in a church.
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Childbirth (child*brth) n. -- You get to go
through 36 hours of contractions; he gets to hold your hand
and say "focus... breathe....push...."
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Clothes dryer (kloze dri*yer) n. -- An
appliance designed to eat socks.
-
Diet Soda (dy*it so*da) n. -- A drink you buy
at a conven- ience store to go with a half pound bag of
peanut M&M's.
-
Eternity (e*ter*ni*tee) n. -- The last two
minutes of a football game.
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Exercise (ex*er*siz) v. -- To walk up and
down a mall, occasionally resting to make a purchase.
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Grocery list (grow*ser*ee list) n. -- What
you spend half an hour writing, then forget to take with you
to the store.
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Hair Dresser (hare dres*er) n. -- Someone who
is able to create a style you will never be able to
duplicate again. See "Magician".
-
Hardware Store (hard*war stor) n. -- Similar
to a black hole in space: if he goes in, he isn't coming out
anytime soon.
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Lipstick (lip*stik) n. -- On your lips,
coloring to en- hance the beauty of your mouth. On his
collar, coloring only a tramp would wear...!
-
Park (park) v./n. -- Before children, a verb
meaning "to go somewhere and neck." After children, a noun
meaning a place with a swing set and slide.
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Patience (pa*shens) n. -- The most important
ingredient for dating, marriage, and children. See also
"tranquil- izers".
-
Valentine's Day (val*en*tinez dae) n. -- A
day when you have dreams of a candlelight dinner, diamonds,
and ro- mance, but consider yourself lucky to get a card.
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Waterproof Mascara (wah*tr*pruf mas*kar*ah)
n. -- Comes off if you cry, shower, or swim, but will not
come off if you try to remove it.
