|


LOT
'S WIFE: The Sunday School
teacher was describing how Lot's wife looked back and turned
into a pillar of salt, when little Jason interrupted, "My
Mommy looked back once, while she was driving," he announced
triumphantly, "and she turned into a telephone
pole!"
GOOD
SAMARITAN: A Sunday school teacher was telling
her class the story of the Good Samaritan. She asked
the class, "If you saw a person lying on
the
roadside, all
wounded and bleeding, what would you do?" A thoughtful
little girl broke the hushed silence, "I think I'd throw
up."
DID NOAH
FISH? A Sunday school teacher asked, "Johnny, do
you think Noah did a lot of
fishing when he was
on the Ark?" "No," replied Johnny. "How could he, with just
two worms."
HIGHER
POWER: A Sunday school teacher said to her
children, "We have been learning
how powerful kings
and queens were in Bible times. But, there is a
higher Power. Can anybody
tell me what it is?" One child blurted out,
"Aces!"
MOSES AND
THE RED SEA: Nine-year-old Joey was asked by his
mother what he had learned in Sunday
School. "Well, Mom, our teacher told us how God sent Moses
behind enemy lines on a rescue
mission to lead the Israelites out of Egypt.
When
he got to the Red
Sea, he had his army build a pontoon bridge and all
the People walked across safely. Then, he radioed
headquarters for reinforcements. They sent bombers to
blow up the bridge and all the Israelites were saved."
"Now, Joey, is that really what your teacher taught you?"
his mother asked. "Well, no, Mom. But, if I told it the way
the teacher did, you'd never believe it!"
THE LORD IS MY
SHEPHERD: A Sunday School teacher decided to
have her young class memorize one
of the most quoted
passages in the Bible
: Psalm 23. She gave
the youngsters a month to learn the chapter. Little Rick was
excited about the task -- but, he just couldn't remember the
Psalm. After much practice, he could barely get past the first
line. On the day that the kids were scheduled to recite Psalm
23 in front of the congregation, Ricky was so nervous. When it
was his turn, he stepped up to the microphone and said
proudly, "The Lord is my Shepherd, and that's all I need to
know."
UNANSWERED
PRAYER? The preacher's 5 year-old daughter
noticed that her father always paused and bowed his head, for
a moment, before starting his sermon.
One day, she asked
him why. "Well, Honey," he began, proud that his daughter
was so observant of his messages,
"I'm asking the Lord
to help me preach a good sermon." "How come He doesn't do
it?" she asked.
BEING THANKFUL A rabbi
said to a precocious six-year-old boy, "So your mother says
your prayers for you each night? That's very
commendable.
What does she
say?" The little boy replied, "Thank God he's in bed!"
UNTIMELY ANSWERED
PRAYER During the minister's prayer, one Sunday,
there was a loud whistle from one of the back pews. Tommy's
mother was horrified. She pinched him into silence and, after
church, asked, "Tommy, whatever made you do such a thing?"
Tommy answered, soberly, "I asked God to teach me to
whistle, and He just then did!"
TIME TO PRAY A pastor
asked a little boy if he said his prayers every night.
"Yes, sir," the boy replied. "And, do you always say
them in the morning, too?" the pastor asked. "No sir," the
boy replied. "I ain't scared in the daytime."
ALL MEN / ALL
GIRLS? When my daughter, Kelli, said her bedtime
prayers, she would bless every family member, every friend,
and every animal (current and past). For several weeks,
after we had finished the nightly prayer, Kelli would say,
"And all girls." As
this soon became part of her nightly routine, to include this
at the end, my curiosity got the best of me and I asked
her,
"Kelli, Why do you
always add the part about all girls?" Her response,
"Because we always finish our prayers by saying 'All Men'!"
SAY A
PRAYER Little Johnny and his family were having
Sunday dinner at his Grandmother's house. Everyone was seated
around the table as the food was being served.
When Little
Johnny received his plate, he started eating right
away. "Johnny! Please wait until we say our prayer." Said
his mother. "I don't have to," The boy replied. "Of
course, you do," his mother insisted. "We say a prayer before
eating, at our house." "That's our house," Johnny
explained. "But this is Grandma's house and she knows how to
cook!"
Back To Haven On
Earth |