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Chocolate is derived from cacao beans.
Bean = vegetable. Sugar is derived from either sugar CANE or
sugar BEETS. Both are plants, which places them in the
vegetable category. Thus, chocolate is a vegetable.
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To
go one step further, chocolate candy bars also contain milk,
which is dairy product. So candy bars are a health food.
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Chocolate-covered raisins, cherries,
orange slices and strawberries all count as fruit; so eat as
many as you want.
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If
you've got melted chocolate all over your hands, you're
eating it too slowly.
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Problem: How to get 2 pounds of
chocolate home from the store in a hot car. The solution:
Eat it in the parking lot.
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Diet tip: Eat a chocolate bar before
each meal. It'll take the edge off your appetite, and you'll
eat less.
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If
calories are an issue, store your chocolate on top of the
fridge. Calories are afraid of heights, and they will jump
out of the chocolate to protect themselves. (We're testing
this with other snack foods as well.)
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If
I eat equal amounts of dark chocolate and white chocolate,
is that a balanced diet? Don't they actually counteract each
other?
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Chocolate has many preservatives.
Preservatives make you look younger. Therefore, you need to
eat more chocolate.
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Put
"eat chocolate" at the top of your list of things to do
today. That way, at least you'll get one thing done.
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A
nice box of chocolates can provide your total daily intake
of calories in one place. Now, isn't that handy?
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If
you can't eat all your chocolate, it will keep in the
freezer. But if you can't eat all your chocolate, what's
wrong with you?
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If
not for chocolate, there would be no need for control top
pantyhose. An entire garment industry would be devastated.
You can't let that happen, can
you?
