Men Are Just Happier People--

What do you expect from such simple creatures? Your last name stays put. The
garage is all yours. Wedding plans take care of themselves. Chocolate is
just another snack. You can be President. You can never be pregnant. You can
wear a white T-shirt to a water park. You can wear NO shirt to a water park.
Car mechanics tell you the truth. The world is your urinal. You never have
to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky.
You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.

Gray hair is distinctive.  Wrinkles add character. Wedding dress $5000. Tux
rental-$100. People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them.
New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet. One mood all the time.

Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat. You know stuff about tanks.
A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase. You can open all your own
jars. You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness. If
someone forgets to invite you someplace, he or she can still be your friend.

Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack. Three pairs of shoes are more than
enough. You almost never have strap problems in public. You are unable to
see wrinkles in your clothes. Everything on your face stays its original
color. The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades. You only have to
shave your face and neck.

You can play with toys all your life. One wallet and one pair of shoes -- 
one color for all seasons. You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look.
You can 'do' your nails with a pocket knife. You have freedom of choice
concerning growing a mustache.
What's to be depressed about?

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